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But she laughed at his jokes and touched his arm a lot. I even caught them pecking on the lips once. There wasn’t enough steel wool in the country for my brain to scrub that one away. ‘And he farts! Like, all the time! On the couch I have to sleep on!’ I ranted to Abby that night when she’d swung by to pick me up for a beer. I’d called her, begging her to rescue me. When she’d shown up at the condo to come up and say hi to my mother, I swear Stan had leered at her in her little black dress. I’ll be the first to admit Abby is a damn knock out, especially dressed up to go out, but that was weird. Abby just smirked at me. I put my bottle down, because I’d been waving it around like a crazy man. ‘So get out of there, get your own place,’ she said, and sipped her own beer. I snorted, ‘I’m broke, remember?’ She looked away and said, very casually, ‘You could come stay with me at the beach house.’ I sighed. I was tempted, so tempted. ‘I don’t want to change my mind about moving in. I am not quite sure what it was. Butit was there for sure. One night, after I had cooked dinner and hadserved her, I stood obediently next to my wife, waiting for permission toaddress her.She looked at me. "What is it, maid?" Madame Beringer, I think someone is looking at me."She laughed. "What gives you that idea, maid?" Madame Beringer, as I move around the house from room to room, at timesI glance out the window and I think I see eyes looking here."My wife laughed again, continued her dinner and dismissed me as soon as Ihad finished cleaning up.But the next evening she came home and pasted a small, black and whitesign on every window of the house, facing out. "Piano lessons: Tuesday,Thursday, and Saturday, 4 pm" and there was a phone number."Madame Beringer, we do not give piano lessons, we do not own a piano,and that is not our phone number," I protested.She laughed.But the following Tuesday I was dismissed early from my job and orderedto be home by 3:30 pm. At 4 pm exactly, my.
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